So there I was, sitting on my dinky little sun chair in the shallow waters of the Eastern Caribbean minding my own business when a rather tall gent, dressed entirely in white, sauntered up proffering a tray of iced soft drinks and little shot glasses full of chilled grapes . “Excuse me Sir,” he said his soft British Virgin Islands accent far softer than most other Caribbean . ‘May I offer you a drink ?’”

Entirely indicative of the Little Dix Bay Experience, this seemingly small gesture got my stay off to a terrific start and prepared me for what was a simply majestic five days of winter warmth during which  nothing mattered except the sun, sea, sand and maybe a nice dinner.

Situated on the island of Virgin Gorda, Little Dix Bay is accessible only by boat or plane from the nearby Tortula, the capital of The British Virgin Islands and part of the Leeward Islands chain, which consist of about forty islands, islets, and cays on the Eastern most point of the Caribbean adjacent  to Puerto Rico. It was ‘discovered’ in 1493 by Christopher Columbus who, much amused by the shape of the island – which from afar resembles the reclining figure of a pregnant woman – sarcastically named it, Virgin Gorda, or Fat Virgin in English. Consequently, this atoll and many of it’s neighbouring islands from the mid 17th Century until well after the Seven Years war ended in 1763 welcomed mostly pirates (including, legend has it, Edward ‘Blackbeard’ Teach and Welshman Bartholomew Roberts) who drank lots o’ rum, harried the harlot and built watchtowers along deserted beaches from where they attacked passing vessels.
Of course, such a past has only contributed to the charm of Virgin Gorda, a conurbation that didn’t see the arrival of electricity or the telephone until the sixties and, contrary to it’s troubled past is today, unlike many other Caribbean destinations, so laid back it’s almost snoring. Its main town, Spanish Town, is only notable for its lack of the usual tourist nonsense with only a few hastily erected makeshift watering holes bars such as, De Goose Bar, full of locals who pay one no heed whatsoever, a few B+B’ s, craft shops and a smattering of grocery and electrical stores while its nearby beaches are pristine and deserted.
Indeed, on my first day looking down Little Dix Bay’s totally white beach (that was exactly 50 metres from the door of my beach villa) but eight people were dotted over the two kilometer stretch. A couple of  septuagenarians and a gaggle of children aged between three and 10 larking about in the shallows.
Another thing that differentiates Little Dix from other Caribbean destinations is the quite exceptional grub. Our first meal, as part of their annual Lobster Festival, took place in the Pavilion Restaurant and was simply beyond the pale. Featuring the finest Lobster Bisque I have ever encountered followed by a couple of the local Anegada crustaceans tails washed down with a bottle of chilled Sancerre in itself it was worth the 14 hour door to door trip from London.
Back in my elegantly spacious Beach Front Cottage, with its two showers (one inside the other out) each big enough for six and I laid back on my bed the size of an inner city playground, gazed out to sea, listened to the waves and slept like the dead, and, for the first time in months, actually dreamed.
Next day we were up and at them with the larks — or as is the case here on the Island of Virgin Gorda, Turtle Doves — and, while some of our fellow guests took to the hotel yachts to visit one of the many magnificent beaches on the neighbouring deserted islands, we simply strapped on the rubber and went scuba diving.
Luckily, most of the prime dive sites  near Virgin Gouda are no more than 30 minutes away. One location, named Alice’s Backside, just 15 meters deep, is perfect for beginners and allows sight of gloriously coloured red snappers, lobsters, moray eel, trumpet fish and the gloriously monikered orange spotted goby. For the more experienced sub-mariner there is the wreck of the Rhone – a British postal ship that sank in 1867 near to the island known as Deadman’s Chest (yes the very same one as the song) – which proffered all manner of sea beasties. Moray eels, stingray, squirrel fish and massive Goliath groupers, the size of a dwarf, scuttle about the iron hull looking for something to swallow while the ship itself provides labyrinthine adventure enough to satisfy the most adventurous diver.
And for those who haven’t dived but fancy a pop, Little Dix Bay, courtesy of Dive BVI offer dive packages that, with the minimum of prep (just an hour or so in the lagoon and an oral test) allow you to dive with an instructor en tow to 10 metres. Then, if scuba takes your fancy, you can do your PADI Open Diver course over the next four days taking just a morning out each day to achieve a pass.
Yet undeniably, what places Little Dix Bay scuba over and above most resorts is the guilt free diving. In other words if one’s other half isn’t at all keen on breathing underwater (like my Mrs) they can happily languish in the quite excellent hilltop spa or on the deserted beach while one’s offspring wallow in the shallows, are entertained in the crèche or catch a movie in the activities room. In fact, each day the hotel proffers a vast array of complimentary distractions such as yoga classes, croquet, tennis badminton Pilates and guided snorkel tours while at an extra cost they will arrange candle lit private dinners on the beach, deep sea fishing or excursions to local beauty spots.
But none of that for yours truly; after diving we took to the catamaran before lounging about in style   and that night adjourned to the resorts, Sugar Mill Restaurant. Tastefully decorated using bare stone and raw wood, the menu proffered, and I quote, ‘eclectic fusion of contemporary Pan-Asian and European cuisines and a unique Amusaries Menu.’ Whatever the case it did not prepare us for the gastronomic delights that were to come. I started with seared yellow tail with Wagu beef as my main followed by green tea ice cream that was just perfect.
In truth, I’d never really fancied a holiday in an a resort that caters to one’s every need but for those of us that work hard all year round and just need a darned good rest in a location where your every need is catered for then this relaxed and tranquil haven   is just the place. After just five days I felt remade, remodeled and rejuvenated. My mind had for once switched off and I was ready to come back and take on the world.. which was nice.