Prince William and Catherine, now the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, on the balcony at Buckingham Palace.

So, the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge, aka Prince William and Princess Catherine (known as Kate), like most other newly-married couples, might be trying to have a baby. That’s might. Because we don’t actually know, though we’re at least pretty confident that she’s not pregnant with twins.

Countless media stories in recent weeks are reading the tea leaves, the significant looks, and the peanut paste in the hopes of determining whether the former Kate Middleton is actually with royal child. So what are the signs that everyone’s eagerly looking at?

The pressure on Crown Princess Masako of Japan to produce a male heir for the Chrysanthemum Throne, which does not allow women to ascend, caused her to become clinically depressed. Luckily, there are no such pressures on the Cambridges, right?

They’re moving house! Well Derek McGovern on The Mirror said one sign that the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge were about to drop a sprog was that they’d chosen to settle in Kensington Palace, into a bigger apartment. (Because obviously babies can’t be born anywhere else.) And also, Will has asked for more photos of Kate’s sister, Pippa. (Though why that would be a sign is beyond Periscope’s ken.)

She touched her stomach! And refused the peanuts! It must be true! Today gawped that she touched her belly on a goodwill UNICEF trip to Copenhagen, clearly a sign of expectancy. On the very same trip, she refused to eat peanut paste, and, all the gossip mags agreed, gave Wills a very significant look when he offered it to her. As everyone knows, pregnant women are sometimes advised by doctors not to eat peanuts, because of allergies (the paste in question is the stuff being sent to East Africa for famine relief); but a royal insider told Hollywood Gossip, however, that the real reason Kate didn’t try the protein-packed paste was that she isn’t comfortable eating in front of the camera.

The Middletons are meeting! No, no, it really is true!  Examiner said that the Middletons had descended upon Scotland for a family meeting – which suggests there may be a big announcement soon, as they last met in Scotland to chat about the wedding. Scotland is obviously the place to go if you want to announce that your family is expecting a baby.

Genetic heritage. Well, whether it’s a boy or a girl (and betting shops are offering odds on it – William Hill is offering Evens that it will be a girl. Surprisingly), it will be tested for porphyria, said Gather – the disease that caused King George III to go mad.

Leave them be. “Poor Kate and William!” said Lisa Marsh on MindfulMum. They have to deal with this endless speculation – imagine the pressure. They should be left to do it (as it were) in their own time.

For your own private delectation, watch the very moment when Kate refused the peanut paste, right here, right now:

And also a report on Kensington Palace, where they’ve decided to live:

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